grr this totally made me mad

so i was on this site called soulcysters.net well i logged on today cuz ive been feeling down and the ppl in charge of it banned me from posting anything like wtf they didnt even say why i was banned like fuck off im not in the mood to be nice and deal with it. i think its dumb cuz i always went on there to see if anyone has ever gone through what i did but now i cant like grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

14 Years

So it has been 14 years since my dad passed. I've been thinking about him a lot lately. I have a wonderful mother who has made growing up with out a dad easy. I miss him every day. Having my father in law is a constant reminder of not growing up with a dad. It sucks sometimes not knowing a lot about him but sometimes its a good thing because I don't know the bad or the good. I wish Cory was here to make me feel better but he isn't so it sucks....

I'm proud

When Cory and I first found out I had PCOS we only told family and I was ashamed to tell other people. I saw it as something was wrong with me. Now I am fine with telling people and it does not bother me. Sometimes when I see people who just had babies or who are pregnant I do get a little upset but not very much anymore. Many people in my life are pregnant or having babies right now and I'm so happy for them. I wish I could be pregnant and Cory and I are trying but its hard because we dont have the support that most people have. Cory's family supports us in trying and so does my sister and brother in law. But my mother and grandparents tell me I am to young to start trying and that we need to wait. My doctor recently told me that the longer we wait the less chance of getting pregnant I have. It was a very hard choice to make and my family doesn't understand that Cory and I have talked about it and we are adult and can choice what to do about our family and our future. Our future depends on the two months I plan to spend on the truck with Cory. If I like it our plans for a family will be put on hold for a couple of years. If I do not like it I will stay with my in laws and begin taking the fertility drugs and go to school. We are not positive which path we will take but we do know that no matter what we will have a family with in three years and we will stick together no matter what. I think that because my mothers marriage ended after she had me that she thinks once I start having kids Cory and I will be over. My family is the most important thing to me and my family is me and Cory right now I would love to add more but if we can not for awhile then we will deal with it but for now we are strong and I am fighting.