My down spiral!!!!

So lately I have been having a tough time with dealing. Last night I got drunk and text an ex boyfriend. My husband was really mad and hasn't talked to me. When I woke up this morning I was very low and angry so I cut myself to feel better. I thought of ending my life and I kinda tried. I have been very depressed and angry as myself lately. Something in my head is telling me everything would be better if I wasn't around and I believe it is true. My husband told me to delete my facebook which I did. He said all the bad thoughts and feeling are because of facebook. But now I feel alone. Like I have no one and nothing but school. School has also been hard. I decided I would work ahead and now people are making fun of me for it because I am so far ahead. Saying I'm a kiss ass and a brown noser. I don't get it I wanted to go ahead because I understood it and wanted to get it over with. I can never do anything right and I get overwhelmed and I break down. I feel broken, usless, and alone. I'm looking in to getting help but my husband doesn't think it would help, but I feel like I need it. This is me lossing it but hopefully I can keep it together.